Standing By My Wife Through Her Cancer Journey (by Cameron Von St. James)

I was contacted in December by someone who wishes to share his family’s personal story.  This truly inspiring account written by Cameron Von St. James demonstrates the power of hope.  It has also inspired me to revitalise this blog.  Thank you Cameron.

Standing by my Wife Through Her Cancer Journey

family - Portland

On November 21, 2005, my family’s lives changed forever. On this day, my wife Heather found out that she had malignant pleural mesothelioma. It had only been three months since we celebrated the birth of our first child, and instead of getting ready to celebrate our first Christmas together, our lives were heading into a chaotic period.

Before we even left the hospital, I knew that I would have an important job ahead. Caring for a cancer patient would be extremely difficult. After the doctor told us about mesothelioma, he gave us three places we could go for treatment. My wife was speechless after learning about her diagnosis; therefore, I made the decision to go to Boston under the care of Dr. David Sugarbaker, a renowned specialist in the treatment of mesothelioma.

During the next two months, we were living in a very chaotic situation. Heather and I both used to work before she was diagnosed with cancer; however, after her diagnosis, she could no longer work. As for me, I could only work part time. I had to care for my wife, travel to Boston, and take care of our daughter. I was so overwhelmed and often thought about the worst possible outcomes.  I was terrified of losing my wife and being left alone to raise a daughter who would never really know her mother.  On several occasions, I found myself breaking down and crying when I was alone.  However, I never cried around Heather because I knew she depended on me to be strong for her.

We were blessed to have so many people to help us. Many people would give us  both words of comfort, and financial assistance which we so desperately needed.  I was so hesitant to accept their help at first, but as soon as I let go of my pride and started accepting the generous offers that were coming our way, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. If there is anything that I would tell people dealing with cancer, it would be to take any offers of help offered to them.

Caring for someone with cancer is difficult, and most people will experience a ton of emotions; however, it is important to not let the fear and anger take control. By continuing to have hope, life is easier to manage.  It was the most difficult journey of either of our lives, but after Heather’s intense treatment involving surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, she miraculously beat mesothelioma, a feat so rare it is almost unheard of.
After this ordeal, I decided to go back to school to study Information Technology.  My experience as Heather’s caregiver helped prepare me.  I graduated with high honors, and at my graduation, I was the student graduation speaker. During my graduation speech, I informed the audience that I would have never imagined giving a graduation speech five years prior; however, by having hope and never giving up, people can accomplish more than they have ever dreamed of accomplishing.  Heather and Lily were in the audience to cheer me on, and that was the best reward of all.

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